My dear, such a long time havent written anything to you... almost 3 years.. huh?! This might be the 1st ever letter to you from that time... besides the first (also the last) card i sent to you.
How are you doing? Hope youre well.. happy safe and blessed..
On my side, I'm doing well.. even sometimes unwell and sometimes it's because of you.:)
But sometimes.. feeling like i spread my wings so wide.. and i find out it's time to turn back to something.. turn back into you
Life changes so fast within this 3 years. I have discovered more.. and learned more...
Somehow I believe it's the prayers you say for me.. everyday.. every time you pray.
So i must thank you for that :D
I also realize some of the things you used to tell.. that's now true in my life... the lessons I had never believed when you told...
Now I'm in Senior year.. same as you were, 3 years ago, right?! I used to.. very excited very wishful that this day come, so that iI could go to the place i want to.. and to see you..
But now I'm afraid.. that part of my heart is not the same.. and half of my dream almost fade away..will i still get the courage to make it come true?
Ive got many good friends.. those friends that i had enevr hooped or imagined to have... but then once again.. i'm afarid that these memories.. our relationships will again fade away when we're apart after school..
And a part of me.. has changed too..You probably feel happy for me, I guess.? as you want me to be like this, I think. After the two years of closing, my heart seem to ope its small part to someone...
But I'm not sure if it is.. true or not.. I have been thinking.. too much that my head got burned.. and gonna burst someday :)
Afraid that i was blind.. by such shiny lights, fancy, beautiful things of this life..
Then it's so fearsome.. if i lose it all again.. just because i dont speak it out at the right time... until i want to say , then it's too lat...
Fear that I wont make it again.. the same way I have done with you..
Apart of me wanna go for it, a part, not. Khanh said that I would have to choose between friendship or soomewhat special relationship.. if i choose to throw out the feelings.. I might risk my friendship.. and once, i tell out, then we can never remain friends.
This is disturbing me.. I must..choose?!
Sometimes i'm feeling so exhausted.. alone, and no motivation to move on.. But i still have to move as the pressure and expectations on me are so high.. :)
Besides everything around seems to be normal. This year, can be said unlucky year to me. Perhaps, it's because i was the luckiest last year?! It's alright... and i hope everything just keeps in balanced like that.
Anyway, for the new year to come, i wish you have a year full of love, health and happiness.. Please take care on the way! God bless you and of course.. you get my blessings.. as you always will. Hopefully hearing some good news for you somewhere, some time.
See you again so soon, there, some day!
Always your Little Cucumber
Salatalık
Salatalık
